Black Valentine
by Moonchild10
Summary: Why does Raven hate Valentine's Day so much? Beast Boy is about to find out. [BBRae] Chapter two up!
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer: Blar!**

**Yes, I am doing a Valentine fic. The inevitable has happened! Woo! This should only be about three or four chapters long, and I really hope it turns out how I was hoping it would. I hope you like it! Reviews are much loved: they're what I thrive on. Please feed me!**

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It was only early morning, and already the Jump City Mall was overcrowded with people doing last minute shopping. The whole place was hustle and bustle, desperate shoving crowds of pink, red, and white clad mall goers. The noise was tremendous, shouting, music playing, cell phones blaring. The whole place was filled with heart-shaped balloons and confetti, crepe paper streamers, candy boxes and hearts in every shop window.

Among all the bliss of the day and the excitement of buying gifts for loved ones, one person in particular stuck out. A thin teenage girl with deep violet hair and eyes to match. She was a strange sight, dressed in a black leotard and a flowing blue cloak that fell around her ankles, her pale, grayish skin attracting the glances of passerby. Unlike the other shoppers, she was not at all in the Valentine spirit (who can blame her?). She was walking quickly to avoid the stares of the brightly-clad spectators and the look on her face was expressionless, though her eyes held a distinct look of displeasure.

Raven moved as quickly as possible into the small bookstore and wound her way around the people clogging the place to get to the counter, where she stood for a moment.

"I'm here for a book I ordered," she said, her distaste for speaking to anyone today extremely evident.

"Ah, yes," said the elderly man behind the counter, clearly remembering her. Someone that out of the ordinary wasn't hard to forget. He dug around under the counter for a moment, and produced a thick volume, placing it on the countertop. Raven paid him quickly and took the book without giving him time to put it into a bag, hurrying out the shop as quickly as she could.

Raven got through the journey out of the mall by imagining being back at Titans Tower, in her room reading the unpleasant day away. She had loathed this day for as long as she could remember. She hated the sentiment of it all, the sappy love cards. That wasn't what she hated most, though.

Relieved to be out of the horrible place, Raven started the trip back to the Tower.

**XXX**

As Raven stepped in the front door several minutes later, the first thing she was aware of was a flash of red and someone swooping in front of her, jumping up and down.

"Hello, Starfire," Raven said slowly as Starfire finished her jig and stood still. The other three Titans stood behind her, all of their expressions wondering silently if maybe this was a bad idea.

"Hello, Friend Raven!" she said, sounding even more cheerful than ever. "I am overjoyed to see you! You departed this morning before the rest of us awakened, and we were confused of your whereabouts!"

"I was at the mall, getting a book," Raven said. "Now if you don't mind, Starfire, I'd like to get to my room."

"Oh, but Raven, you must join us in the merriment of the Valentine's Day! I have heard much about it from Robin. It is a celebration of love and sounds most glorious! We shall make items in the shapes of red muscular organs! You do not wish to join us in the joyous celebration?"

"I don't do joy," Raven said simply.

"Raven, if you will just give us a chance to-"

"_No_," Raven said, starting to get irritated.

"Star, I don't know if we should-" Robin began.

"But Robin, it will not be the same without Raven joining in the festivities and-"

"I said I don't want to, Starfire, OK? Now just leave me alone! I don't do joy, I don't do merriment, and I don't do Valentine's Day. Stop trying to make me participate in something so completely idiotic," Raven said through clenched teeth.

"Dude, what is your problem? Why do you have to be so gloomy all the time? We're just trying to help you have a good time and you're biting our heads off. What's the matter with you, anyway? Just stop being so depressing for once and have fun like a normal person!" Beast Boy said. That was the wrong thing to say.

"I said leave me alone!" Raven very loudly, eyes glowing red and a window shattering and spraying glass nearby. "You have no right to tell me what to do! Sometimes I think you are the most brainless person on the face of this earth!" she walked quickly past her friends and up the stairs. When she reached the top, she turned for a moment, in a furious state but calmer than before. "Now, will you four please stay away from me for the _rest _of the day?" and with that, she whipped around and walked out of sight.

"I knew that was a bad idea," said Cyborg, shaking his head.

"What is her problem? Sometimes I wish she could just stop freaking out long enough to act like our friend," Beast Boy said.

"Not everyone likes to celebrate," Robin said. "She _is _our friend and you know it, Beast Boy. She doesn't need to do everything we think she should, no matter how much we want her to."

"I'm gonna go see what her problem is," Beast Boy said, turning around.

"Uh, BB, I don't think that's such a good idea," Cyborg said.

"_Somebody's _got to," Beast Boy said with a shrug, heading up the stairs.

"Should we stop him?" Robin asked, looking at Cyborg.

Cyborg shook his head. "That boy needs to learn his lesson. Some things are better left alone, and he'll find that out once she uses him as a human punching bad," he said.

Robin gave a slight chuckle at this. "Yeah. Come on Star, let's go get things started. It's OK, we'll still have fun. It doesn't matter if Raven doesn't like it. She'll be OK," he said comfortingly to Starfire. The three of them headed toward the living room.

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**Next chapter soon. It should be more interesting than this one was. And longer. **


	2. I'm sorry?

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! Nothing I tell you!**

**Yay! Chapter two! Finally! Sorry it took so long. Hope you like it!**

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"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos. Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos. Azarath-"

"Hey, Raven!" came a sudden, loud voice. Raven opened her eyes, still seething.

"_Go_…_away_," she said loudly, making sure to emphasize every syllable.

"Come on, I just want to talk to you!" Beast Boy argued from the other side of the door.

"I said go away!" Raven roared. She would have thought that hearing her so angry would deflect him, but he seemed to be standing his ground.

"Raven, come on, we-"

"NO!" Raven said. "I don't want to talk to you right now!" silence followed this, and she was relieved, until something seemed to grow up out of the floor. It was Beast Boy. Raven nearly had a heart attack at his abrupt appearance. "How did you get in here?" she demanded, standing up.

"I morphed into a fly and crawled under the door. Now, can you just tell me why you're wigging out?" He asked.

"No. It does NOT concern you. Get out of my room," Raven said, trying to remain calm.

"No. Not until you tell me what's going on!" Beast Boy said. Raven was infuriated even further.

"I said no," she snapped. "And I also said get out of my room. So do it. Now."

Beast Boy looked frustrated. "Come on Raven, I just wanna know what's the matter! What's wrong with you? Why do you have to be so weird all the time? You really creep me out sometimes."

Her eyes glowed ruby.

"Get out of my room!" she roared, whirling around to face him. Beast Boy flew backward and slammed into the door with a loud thud and a crack. Raven's eyes widened, fading back to their normal color as Beast Boy slid limply to the floor. Raven gasped slightly. "Beast Boy?" she asked.

Beast Boy rolled over on the carpet and moaned. "Dude, that is definitely classified as overreacting," he said, rubbing his spine gingerly.

"I warned you," Raven said, resisting the thought of an apology. It was his own fault. He had chosen to keep prying. But she felt a surge of pity as she watched him struggle to his feet. She opened her mouth to apologize, but she was too late to speak.

"Are you crazy or something?" Beast Boy asked, his face slightly pained. Raven was hurt and could feel her temper flaring up again. "You do this all the time. Whenever anyone tries to get close to you, you flip out and blow something up. What's your deal?"

"Don't even pretend you know why I get angry, Beast Boy! You have no idea. It isn't when people try to get close. It's when people like _you_ decide to come around when I'm already angry and hurt me even more!" Raven said, lowering her head so he wouldn't see how close to tears she was. "You like to think you know me, don't you? Well, you don't. I don't need your concern, I don't need your pity, and I don't need you. I just want you all to _leave me alone_. So please, just go."

Beast Boy was unsettled by this. "Raven…" he said, touching her arm. She jerked herself away from him.

"Please leave me alone," she muttered, walking several steps and turning her back on him.

"Raven, I didn't mean to-"

"Get away from me!" she said loudly. Beast Boy moved over to the door, and it opened.

"But I-"

"Get out!" Raven snapped at him. Beast Boy gulped and slid quickly out of the room.

"If you want to talk about this-" he began.

"I'm sure that won't be necessary," Raven said coldly without turning as the door slid shut.

As soon as Raven was alone, she crumbled. Moving quickly over to her bed, she sank onto the sheets and sat there fighting back a strong urge to cry tears of frustration.

"Snap out of it, Raven. Crying won't solve anything. No one ever got anywhere by stewing in their misery," she told herself sharply. She fought off the temptation to indulge in self-pity and sat up, determined to meditate once more.

**XXX**

"Beast Boy, what was that?" Robin asked sharply as Beast Boy turned around outside of Raven's room.

Beast Boy squealed in surprised at someone being there, and then calmed down. "What was what?"

"That little incident just a second ago," Robin demanded fiercely.

"Yes. You were dreadfully rude to Raven, Beast Boy," Starfire pointed out.

"Exactly," Cyborg said. "That was horrible."

"Yes, it was. You _will _apologize, Beast Boy. Not now, but after she cools down," Robin said.

"Says who?" Beast Boy asked.

"Says us. Unless you want us to make your life a meat-filled hell for a very long time," Cyborg said.

"No! Not the meat!" Beast Boy said, covering his head with his hands. "I was going to apologize anyway."

"That's what I thought," Robin said with a tone of authority.

"Now, let's go see what's on TV," Cyborg said, changing the subject and heading for the living room. The other three followed him.

**XXX**

Beast Boy gulped. He knew that he was risking his physical being by attempting to talk to her again. It had been several hours, but he had no idea of how long she might stay angry, so he didn't know how safe this was. It might help if he didn't barge in this time. He slowly put out one hand and knocked. There was no answer. He knocked again.

"Raven?" he called softly. There was no answer for a moment.

"Please go away," she said finally. There was no tone of anger in her voice. It sounded only hollow, empty.

"Raven, I'm not going to yell at you again, I promise. I just want to apologize," Beast Boy said as gently as he could. He was aware of an irritated sigh from inside the room and the door slid open. Raven's deep violet eyes bored into him like needles and he cringed slightly but stood his ground.

"Well?" she asked impatiently. It was painfully evident that she wanted nothing more than to slam the door in his face. Too bad she couldn't slam a sliding door.

"Well…I was really a jerk, wasn't I?" he said.

"_That _would be an understatement," Raven said, her gaze hardening even more. She stared at him from under the hood of her cloak, her face half-concealed beneath her mask of shadows.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, Raven. I shouldn't have said any of that stuff. I didn't really mean any of it," Beast Boy said.

"Oh really now," Raven said.

"Yeah, really. I didn't mean to call you weird, and I didn't mean to yell at you. I guess you can be gloomy if you want to," Beast Boy said.

"You seriously think I _want _to be like this?" Raven asked, her eyes quivering slightly.

"No…no I just-"

"I don't _choose _to be this way," Raven said.

"Oh," Beast Boy said, feeling stupid. He wasn't sure what to say to this. "Um…I'm really sorry. I guess some people just don't like Valentine's Day. It wasn't really any of my business, you know? I should have shut up. You don't have to celebrate if you don't want to. You're still my friend."

Raven pushed her hood down, her gaze softening slightly. "Thank you," she said softly. There was something in her voice that seemed to be yearning, pleading. But for what, Beast Boy did not know.

"Um…yeah," he said. "Raven?"

"What?"

"Why don't you like Valentine's Day?" he asked. "Is it because of all the pink or something?"

"In a way, yes. But it goes deeper than that," Raven said.

"Like how? Why do you really not like it?" Beast Boy asked, knowing that it was unwise to push it.

"I can't tell you that."

"Why not?"

"Because the reason I despise Valentine's Day is petty and self-centered," Raven explained.

"That's OK, you can tell me," Beast Boy assured her.

"No, I can't, because you would yell at me for being stupid, too," Raven said.

"I wouldn't think you were stupid," Beast Boy promised.

Raven sighed loudly. "I'll tell you if you promise not to ask any more questions involving me and Valentine's Day," she said through clenched teeth.

"Deal," Beast Boy said, holding out his hand to shake on it. Raven raised an eyebrow at him, and his hand flew quickly to the back of his head.

"The reason is simple. It hate it because of what I am," she said.

"What do you mean?" Beast Boy asked.

"I'm a demon, Beast Boy." she sighed. "It's a very obvious reason. No one will ever want to 'be my Valentine'," she informed him. "And all that sentimental garbage is something I will never experience."

"Oh come on, I'm sure there's _someone_-"

"There is _no one_," Raven insisted.

"Dude, don't be ridiculous. Someday you'll find someone who really likes you and-"

"_No I won't," _Raven said, putting emphasis on every word. "Look at me!"

Beast Boy shrugged. "What's wrong with you?"

"Everything," Raven said. "I've come to terms with the inevitable. I will always be alone."

"You're _never_ alone, Raven. You've got us!"

"That doesn't matter. You don't understand," Raven said.

"I would if you'd let me," Beast Boy said, slightly frustrated.

"Letting you in would be pointless. Letting _anyone _in would be pointless. I'm not going to waste my time," Raven told him. "You could never understand."

"Raven-"

"Thank you for apologizing, Beast Boy," Raven said in a rather detached way as the door slid shut, separating him from her world of darkness.

Beast Boy was very confused as he walked away from her door. Something had to be done. She couldn't go on believing that she was alone. Beast Boy had to do something about this. He wasn't sure, but he had thought that as the door was closing, he had seen tears in her eyes.

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**I'll get the next chapter up sooner. **


	3. the third chapter

**Disclaimer: Bah! **

**Chapter three. Eeep! I'm sorry it took so long. I'm really putting some effort into this story. I'm trying my hardest to keep Raven in-character, which is why it's taking so long to write. **

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"Raven please! Come on! Open the door!" Beast Boy reasoned through the door. He and the other Titans had been trying for nearly an hour to convince her to come out of her room, and so far they had made no progress. The others had given up several minutes ago, deciding to respect her privacy. Beast Boy had stayed, though. He was getting increasingly worried by the second. What was she doing in there? She wasn't even answering his calls anymore. "Raven! Are you OK?" he asked loudly. "I'm going to break the door down! Answer me!" he hated to feel like he was invading her privacy, but he was concerned.

The door turned black, cloaked in Raven's psychic energy, and slid open so Beast Boy could enter. Walking into the room, he was relieved to see Raven safe, kneeling on the floor and watching him. There were dark circles under her eyes, and it was obvious that she had been crying. Beast Boy didn't say anything about it, though. He just walked over to her, wondering what she could have been crying about.

Beast Boy dropped to his knees before her.

"Uh…Raven?" he asked. Raven looked at him wordlessly, as though unable to grasp the concept of speech for a moment.

"What?" she asked, her voice wavering.

"Wussamatter?" Beast Boy asked. "You were…crying."

"I was not crying," Raven informed him, trying to be inconspicuous about wiping away the tears that were still clinging to her cheeks. "I don't cry."

Beast Boy chose not to contradict her. "Uh…OK. But what's the matter?"

Raven shook her head at him.

"Come on, what?" he asked again.

Raven ignored him. "What are you doing here, anyway? What do you want?" she asked tonelessly.

"Well…before, you said you feel like you're alone," Beast Boy answered her.

"That's because I am," Raven told him bluntly.

"No, you're not. I'm here to convince you that you're _not_ alone."

"That is not going to happen," Raven stated plainly.

"Oh come on Raven, trust me. You're not alone and you know it," Beast Boy said.

"Stop it," Raven snapped. "This is pointless. Just go. Get out of my room. You're not accomplishing anything." She said she wanted him to leave her alone, but her eyes told him that she was lying. Despite her harsh words, a longing look resided in her eyes, in her voice, all over her face. What was it that she wanted so desperately? Beast Boy watched her for a moment. There was an aura of pure loneliness coming off of her. Beast Boy doubted if even she knew it, but Raven needed someone to care at the moment. It was obvious to him. She was trying with all her strength not to look him in the eye.

"What do you want?" he asked finally, his voice betraying him and showing his frustration. Raven looked slightly baffled.

"Excuse me?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What do you want? There's something you want really badly. It's all over your face, in your eyes…something you need. What is it?" Beast Boy asked. He realized that this was something like the first semi-intelligent question he had ever asked her.

"What are you _talking _about?" Raven asked him.

"What do you want so bad, Raven?" Beast Boy asked.

"Desire is irrelevant," she muttered under her breath.

"Don't lie," Beast Boy said quietly with a half-grin. "What do you want?"

Raven slowly raised her eyes and looked at him. "I want someone to actually _care_," she said lifelessly, as though hoping such an answer would shut him up, and then she lowered her eyes once more.

Slightly in shock, Beast Boy just watched the pale teenager for a moment. "How could you…think that no one cares?" he asked finally. Raven didn't answer. She kept her eyes cast to the floor. "The whole world isn't out to get you, Raven. We've got your back and you know it," Beast Boy said.

Raven gave a slight, cold laugh. "In battle, yes. You're always there when I need you. But this isn't a match with some senseless villain. This is my life. What it comes down to is that you're all too afraid to get close to me outside of the crime-fighting world. Out there, we're all in the same fight. Here, I'm alone. You all seem to have convinced yourselves that _I'm _the one who doesn't want to get close…but it isn't me. It's all of you," she said, and then continued before Beast Boy could contradict her statement. "Yes, I realize that I have a few…problems with letting others in, letting them see the real me. But they're not as severe as you like to believe. If any of you really wanted to talk to me about something relevant and intelligent, I would listen. If any of you wanted to do something with me that _all_ of us would enjoy, I would probably go along. But you don't really want to, because for you it's just pointless to try, isn't it? I'm a little bit of an introvert, yes, and you use that as a subconscious excuse. It's too much of a hassle to bother with the creepy one, isn't it? Much easier just to make it seem like I don't _want _anyone close to me? I'm not saying it's anyone's fault. Your intentions were always good. You all care about me, and I do know it, but you don't care enough to want to understand." she finished with a sigh.

Beast Boy wasn't exactly able to comprehend why she was choosing to tell him all of this. Normally she was so closed off toward him, and now he was starting to see why. At first, he had been offended by her logic, but he was slowly coming to realize that it was true. It was never something he would have realized on his own, but it was all true. He could feel a strong bubble of guilt rising in his chest.

"Dude…" he said quietly, unable to think of any words for a moment. He let the silence stretch farther and farther. When Raven spoke again, it was in a softer, shakier voice.

"I'm sorry I'm bothering you with all this, Beast Boy. I don't even know why I'm telling you this. I'm sure I sound like a complete crybaby," she said.

"Naw. You're not bothering me. You're not a crybaby. Go ahead, let it all out," he said, not exactly sure why he was saying this or what he was getting himself into. He was slightly afraid of what the dark girl might say next.

"No. I'm finished," Raven said in a closed way. "I won't burden you with my moaning anymore. You can go."

"But-"

"No, just get out of my room," Raven told him quietly. Beast Boy stood up and turned around. But something was wrong. He sensed something. He sensed Raven tensing behind him. And then he stopped and turned to face her once more.

"You don't really want me to go, do you?" he asked perceptively, though it was more of a statement, watching her face carefully. She only stared back. "You don't want to be alone right now really, do you?"

Raven only stared back stonily for a moment, trying desperately to hold her true response inside, and then finally her resolve broke and she took several shaky breaths, shaking her head slowly.

"No," she said softly, and then lowered her head, as though the single word had drained her of all her energy. When she spoke again, her words surprised him. "P-…please don't go." she was speaking toward the carpet, but the words were still audible. Beast Boy walked back over and knelt before her once more.

"Uh…" he muttered, unsure of what to say. He patted her shoulder awkwardly, and very, very slowly, she raised her head and looked him irresolutely in the face. The look in her eyes shocked him beyond words. For so long, she had been damming everything inside, and now he had broken through her barrier, seen past her wall, looked through her mask. Even a little bit made such a difference. Now that he was seeing the things she had concealed so carefully, she looked so vulnerable to him. It hurt him to know that someone he cared so deeply for had been carrying such a burden for so long. He saw that burden, that pain, that loneliness in her eyes, though he knew how hard she was trying to hide it. "Are you…OK?" he asked, though he knew the answer.

Raven just looked silently at him.

Feeling extremely self-conscious, Beast Boy hesitated for a moment, and then slowly leaned forward and slipped his arms loosely around her shoulders in a timid hug. He could feel Raven stiffen in surprise for a moment, and then he was taken aback when she returned the gesture. She was hugging him nervously, as though she had not experienced this very much. She had hugged him before, but for some reason she seemed more awkward this time, more unsure of herself. Beast Boy felt a bit awkward himself, but in hopes of relieving some of Raven's doubt, he pulled her a bit closer to him, squeezing her tighter. Once again, Raven did the same. She rested her chin on his shoulder, starting to tremble once more.

Beast Boy felt strange hugging Raven. For so long, she had seemed to want nothing more than her solitude, and now that he was seeing her in a new light, he was starting to realize that she wanted something completely different. She wanted just what he and the other Titans had believed for so long she wanted to avoid. She wanted someone to confide in. She wanted someone to really be there for her. She wanted someone to…love her?

Beast Boy almost made a move to end the embrace, but Raven seemed to be clinging to him desperately. This was not entirely normal for Raven. He wasn't sure whether he should be confused or concerned. She hugged him tightly for a few minutes.

"Um…Raven?"

"What?"

"You're kinda…you know…crushing my lungs," Beast Boy explained carefully.

Raven let go of him quickly and jumped back as though she had been burned. She then quickly avoided his eyes. Beast Boy looked at the floor, too, for some reason unbeknownst to him. There was a very long pause, and then Beast Boy looked up at her, waiting for her to look back. When she finally did, Beast Boy held her gaze for a moment. Despite the pain that lurked behind them, the vivid violet color of Raven's eyes worked its way into his mind. _'Her eyes are beautiful,' _he heard himself think. They really were beautiful. They were deep, fathomless abysses of purple shadows that drew him in and refused to let him escape.

Thinking this, Beast Boy moved forward slightly, gazing deeply into the pools of amethyst that captivated him so much. He wasn't exactly sure what he was doing until it was far too late to come up with some kind of reasonable excuse for what he might have been doing scooting himself back into her personal space, and before he had time to stop himself or even comprehend what was happening, his lips had brushed lightly against hers. It all happened in a fraction of a second. The soft, sensitive skin of the two teenagers' lips collided briefly, and the Azarathian went shooting backward away from him in shock as two shelves in her bookcase sprayed their contents across the room.

Raven sat on the carpet in a heap, staring at him with wide eyes for a moment. She was completely and totally shocked out of her mind. "B-Beast Boy, what-?" Beast Boy was lucky she was too shocked to be angry. Her lips were tingling, her heart was pounding, and her brain was buzzing and churning everywhere at once.

Beast Boy opened and closed his mouth several times but said nothing.

"Maybe you should…go," Raven said. Beast Boy didn't contradict her this time. Instead, he sat stood up and sprinted out of the room, leaving Raven alone with her tumultuous thoughts.

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**Phew. Chapter three down. I'll get the next chapter up as soon as I can. **


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